I tore my calf muscle - like really bad 😣. I’ve been on crutches since last Thursday.
It happened right before we planned on going camping at Joshua Tree for the kid’s Spring Break vacation.
How I tore my calf muscle
First of all, it could have been worse.
It happened when I was taking my kids to school on our cargo bike. We were stopped at a busy intersection waiting for the light to turn green. When it did, I set off to go but out of nowhere a car on my left appeared to be going full speed, so I stopped my bike to prevent that car from crashing into us. They did eventually stop but scared the hell out of me. When I got my bearings to go on the bike again, the force of the stop and the sheer weight of the two heavy kids in the back strained my calf muscle and when I pedaled forward I felt a big pop in my calf followed by excruciating pain. I still don’t know how I managed to bike my kids the rest of the way to school and get back to the house, but I did. The pain was so bad by the time I got home that I couldn’t bear any weight on it.
The pain was so bad I was sure it was at least a level 2 if not level 3 strain. I couldn’t get a doctor’s appointment because they were booked until mid May. After trying a couple of times to see if they had cancellations, I was able to finally get an appointment to see my doctor. Basically, she said there was nothing they could do for a torn calf muscle except to let it heal for 3-6 weeks. She offered me a prescription for pain (which I refused) and recommended R.I.C.E - Rest, Ice, Compression and Elevation. She said she would not authorize any imaging (no MRI no X-ray) even to make sure there was no more serious damage 😳. She said I would have to wait a week and see if it got worse before she would order any other tests 🤨.
Even though she couldn’t do anything much for me at the doctor’s office, well, at least I got the crutches. 😑
I am even more thankful that I have my Chinese medicine to help me. My first aid remedy for strains and sprains is a favorite blend I call “Herbal Ice” or San Huang San. It’s a blend of cooling herbs including Chinese skullcap, coptis, phellodendron bark mixed with other herbs to move and cool the blood. Instead of ice, which can help with inflammation but causes constriction of the blood vessels, I prefer using herbal ice because it helps the area heal faster because it doesn’t restrict blood flow to the area while reducing pain and inflammation.
I placed the herbal ice on my calf and sprayed trauma liniment that I make at the clinic. The combination of the two herbal blends helped the swelling go down in 24 hours and the pain that was close to a 9/10 (10 being worse) significantly reduced to a level 4/10 by the next day.
The bummer part was that this happened days before we were supposed to leave on our camping trip for Joshua Tree.
I was thankful the topical herbs helped reduce the pain and inflammation and despite the less than ideal situation, I didn’t want to let a calf strain stop me from having a great trip with my family so we went anyway.
My magical trip to Joshua Tree with a limp
I was really looking forward to going on some hikes, but with my crutches it was impossible to do. The best part of Joshua Tree is that I was still able to enjoy seeing the rock formations even if I couldn’t climb them. Plus it was fun just to see the kids have a lot of fun climbing the rocks.
A week before we went on our trip to Joshua Tree I had a vision during one of my deep meditations. It was me sitting on top of a rock overlooking the plains below. I saw outlines of earth formations with the background of the mountains far ahead of me casting long shadows across the land. I felt the warmth of the sun on my face. The wind carried a profound silence. The vision was so stunning it brought tears to my eyes when it came to me. I felt a bit melancholy but a sense of belonging to this place.
I had never been to the rock formations at Joshua Tree before. When we arrived at one of the rock formations near Hidden Valley, I realized the place looked familiar because it was exactly the picture of the vision that I had about a week ago. It was the same as in my deep meditation.
The body has a deep knowing, a truth and connection to the earth and universe. We can tap into and connect to this truth through the practices of Qi cultivation.
The lands of Joshua Tree National Park were traditionally home to the Taaqtam (Serrano), Nüwü (Chemehuevi), ʔívil̃uqaletem (Cahuilla), and Pipa Aha Macav (Mojave) peoples. This land is a powerful and sacred space. I felt that power and spirit moving through the landscape. There was a deep wisdom that invited me to sit, listen and allow its lessons and gifts to be received.
Unpacking the Deeper Lessons of a Calf Strain
Sometimes there are things in life that we can’t predict. Things we don’t want to happen, but they do. I’m still in the recovery phase of my calf strain, so the lessons are still unfolding.
When I feel pain in my body, especially when it’s immobilizing, it triggers memories of my trauma. I’ve done a lot of healing work over the years so now instead of it being debilitated from these memories, I work with them somatically through the body. The body has known a lot of pain and it holds a lot of memory.
The main lesson from my calf strain?
I have to intentionally slow things down so I don’t feel the pain.
This is the lesson I’ve had to learn over and over again.
Slow down. Ask what the pain is trying to tell me.
Even if my body is injured I can still achieve vertical alignment through the energy systems of my body.
I can still do my Qi cultivation laying down or sitting. Qigong can still be done with movement or stillness.
When I’m in alignment I can achieve a state of calm.
When I am calm, my body can rest.
When my spirit is still there is no pain.
